Shear Genius: Ahem, why does Jaclyn Smith look like a microwave oven?

Last week, I tried to explain my hatred of hair highlighting to Jackie--who I didn't know had highlights, that's how well hers were done--and ended up at: "When they're bad, they look suspiciously like woodgrained formica." 

Which is--voila!--exactly the problem with Jaclyn Smith, host of Shear Genius--her head looks like the side of my first microwave oven. 

Woodgrained formica is, of course, the worst kind of fakeness, the kind that is unredeemable even in retro contexts. Like champagne beige auto paint, the seafoam green leisure suit, and the man perm.

Do I think all highlights are bad? No. I particularly love the highlights I got from the sun when I used to sail boats every day... Okay, I have seen Jennifer Aniston with decent manmade highlights. And I am okay with Jackie's highlights, though I am not sure she needs them, with her porcelain skin, and I think a swath of thick dark hair would be spectacular with her new acid yellow coat and turquoise scarf...

Here is a great highlight job, on Giselle: it looks like she has actually been in the sun. Notice how dark her part is, that's what real blondes look like!! :

Comments

[jkonrad]

Highlights or bad stripes, Smith is still beautiful-

[tlnu]

I don't agree with you at all. Jaclyn Smith's highlights look great, Giselle's look unnatural and tacky. I think you need to take a look at some fake wood again.

[lauraw]

The streaky multi-toned look works great with someone like my younger sister, whose natural hair color really is a mix of dark and medium -light auburn strands, and strawberry blonde streaks, right from the scalp. She has the coloring to carry it off because it's true to her.

I've got the mediterranean skin and very dark natural hair, so the only highlights that really look good on me are the kind that get brushed on around the front of the crown and layer-ends here and there, somewhat away from the roots. Using a light ash brown, it looks properly sunwashed.

Jaclyn Smith's dye job would have looked better if she stopped short of using the reddish and blonde streaks. We know she's not any kind of blonde. She should have stuck with the minky-brown and ash spectrum.

[Robin]

Woodgrain panel also highly undesirable on station wagons from the 1970s....no matter what the Brady's say.

I think the woodgrain is much more pronounced on brunettes. Giselle's has far more "woodpaneling" than Jack, but, being a dirty blond lets her get away with it.

The woodpanel was a hilarious observation, though. ha!

[bella]

i also completely disagree with you. I think Gisele's hair with the super dark roots looks like she needs to get it done, and Jaclyn's are only ok.