Embracing my outer Casper

  New Austin Powers-ish jersey mini-dress 
  Originally uploaded by dynamist.

I don't know how it's possible, but I managed to mess up the application of Johnson & Johnson Holiday Skin a couple of months back. I ended up with streaks on my legs and arms, and a blotchy set of toes (perhaps trying to make my feet match my legs was a bad idea). I hear the Jergens equivalent is pretty great - my friend Mary uses it, which I was shocked to learn when I complimented her on her glowing skin - but at this point, I'm very gunshy about the whole self-tanning thing.

So I've decided that being white is all right. Except that it does show every bruise and scratch. The end result being that I am, against all good sense, pondering a trip to the tanning bed after several years away from the things. I can't even pretend that I'd go for "just a few" sessions, since my legs take months to get properly brown. No, this would be a real commitment and investment, and might lead to an early death.

But then as I put precious minutes and energy into this dilemma, I remember something I read recently from Anne Lamott, a writer whose work really speaks to me, even though I disagree with a good half of what she has to say.

I got obsessed with something my best friend had said right before she died, when she was in a wheelchair, wearing a wig to cover her baldness, weighing almost no pounds, but very serene, very alive. We were at Macy's. I was modeling a short dress for her that I thought my boyfriend would like. But then I asked whether it made me look big in the hips, and Pammy said, as clear and kind as a woman can be, "Annie? You really don't have that kind of time."

I turn 30 in nine days. Do I have that kind of time? Did I ever? Do you?

Comments

[Sheldon]

Natural skin tone is always most beautiful and sensuous on a woman's body. Tonality is usually what nature thinks is best for a unique woman.

[SageRave]

At 51, I was fortunate to decide I didn't have that sort of time back when I was 22. Aren't real women supposed to have hips?

[nancy]

You don't have time, and 99% of those hips thoughts are only in your mind. The other 1% in the minds of women who care about that stuff.
By the way: the girl in the mini-dress looks fantastic xx

[Lucy Dee]

Ahhh! So glad I found your site. I could use some beauty advice. I'm going to send your link to all my girlfriends. These are the same girls that subscribe to "Lucky" and "Marie Claire." They will be jazzed to get some beauty tips and stories.

[barbara gerbasi]

After more years and self tanning products than I like to admit I too have thrown in my orange streaked towel.
However just yesterday after catching the sight of my pale legs and some visable spider veis beneath my white shorts, I thought maybe I should just check to see if a better product had come on the market.
Then I read your post. I absolutely don't have that kind of time! Thank you for reminding me.

[Rachel]

Good luck with the whole 30th birthday thing, Jackie.

It was a real pyschological "thing" for me, first conscious feelings of mortality, horrible.

But I survived 40 and now 50, so don't worry - there is life after 30. ;)

[nona]

That's a wonderful, wonderful quote. What Anne Lamott book was it?

[Jacq]

Nona, it's in 'Bird by Bird' if memory serves me right. I absolutely love that quote as well!

Jackie, you're not the only one who had that streaking problem with Holiday Skin. I was seduced by the claims that you can slap it on like moisturiser and end up with a tan, and paid the price ... I'm very pale, and that stuff streaks as much as any other self-tan I've tried to use.

I've tried to make my peace with the paleness, but on my legs I go for Rimmel's Sun Shimmer - I mix it with my normal body moisturiser. It washes off, so any streaks can be sorted out easily.

[Paulina]

Wow, those words truly stuck out to me. I will remember this, it touched me.